Trying to keep myself awake now. It's not that I didn't sleep well- okay maybe I didn't, but it's mostly the benadryl at the moment. A slightly busy day- at times at least.

We got to sleep in this morning a bit- probably a little longer than we should have, but even a half-hour helps sometimes. Somehow I managed to make the boy some scrambled eggs, shower, and be ready to go within an hour after Matt left for work. If only I could do that every day...

Josiah read me Green Eggs and Ham in the truck on the way to OT this morning. It's so amazing how clearly he can speak when he's reading a DrSeuss book. Most of the time, people have to really concentrate to understand what he's saying. Well, some shouldn't have to concentrate as hard as they do. But then again, I'm used to the way he speaks, so maybe he isn't as clear as I think he is. He wants to be heard and understood so much- and gets frustrated when he isn't. I think it frustrates me more than him when he's talking earnestly to someone and they turn to me and say, "I didn't understand any of that." Sometimes, he does stumble over words, and sticks on part of a word while he's trying to think of the next one. His brain gets ahead of his mouth, and he gets confused where he is in the sentence. Especially if he's excited.

So I'm sure we'll be dealing with plenty of that this weekend. Being around grandparents always makes him so much more hyper than normal, so he babbles more. I am bringing a couple DrSeuss books with us though, so he can read them aloud to his grandparents. That way they will see that he is making progress in his speaking- not just becoming more verbose.

twitchy

It's odd, really- an itch to write. The past few weeks I've written very little, and it's grating on me in some way. Three years ago I would have thought nothing of it- the urges to write were so few and far between. But now...

I guess in some ways the writing is an escape- getting away from the monotony of being alone all day. (It certainly helps me avoid my housework.... ) But it's an expression too- all the thoughts I have trouble explaining- the emotions I can't quite verbalize- all come out in the writing.

It's not that it's biographical- in most cases, far from it- But it shapes my moods as much as being shaped by them.

And today- today I can't hardly focus on anything for more than a couple minutes at a time. The yuck doesn't help me sit still, that's certain- but it's more than that.

Just wish I knew what.

Alrighty... I'm going to try this. I don't really know what possessed me to try blogging after so many attempts at diaries and journals have made it to the bottoms of drawers.

Maybe it's an attempt to make myself write more. Maybe it's just some part of me wanting to be heard.

But I may as well give it a try.