Lost a friend tonight, most likely. (not death or anything, they're still alive)
The reason?
Because I try to be caring person and have worked hard at being a good friend. Because this person hasn't had enough of that in their life. After the confession of something I'd suspected for months, they said they'd just stay away from me. They live out-of-town, so our paths won't cross if they don't want them to.
I want to weep. Not just for the lost friendship either. This one has been like a younger sibling to me for almost 6 years. My heart goes out to them, but there is nothing I can do.
"You're the only person who makes me feel needed on Earth."
This. This sentence right here has me wanting to go hide in my room away from the kids and bawl. They asked if I've prayed for them. Yes. Often. Now.
Everyone needs and ear and a shoulder- preferably several, that they can lean on, that they can go to to help when the world is just too heavy. I've had plenty of times like that in the past several years. And this one was one of the ones that has always been there for me, when I chose to share my burdens.
At the same time, it makes me think of the other friendships I have. The new friends I've met, folks that think my oddities are fun, and accept me and my weirdness. The sisters I've gotten so much closer with over the past year. Friends I can tell things to that I've never told another soul. And how excessively thankful I am for them.
I still will care for this friend, no matter what they do. And my most heartfelt prayer is that they are surrounded by friends- real, true friends. Soon.
