fear and wonder

I've been working with kids, mostly through the church, since I was probably 13. VBS, Sunday school, camps- tons of them.

I was sitting with a darling little first-grade girl this morning, and realized that dozens of times I've brought a child to the brink of salvation- and deferred them to someone else.  I guess part of me had decided my job was before and after that step:  bring them to the door of the Throne room, then disciple them once someone more knowledgeable led them to the Throne itself.

Today, there was no one to defer her to.  She wanted to ask about it, and she trusted me with it.  I stumbled over my words, trying to come up with a way to phrase questions, to see how much she understood.  I know I must have said some of the same things more than once, but there was understanding in her face.

An inaudible "Daddy help me" prayer later, and she began spilling out her heart.  She understands.  I have no doubts this little one is firmly in His Hands.  She told me how desperately she's been trying to tell her family and friends about Christ.  She gave me a long list of names, telling me she tries, but they just won't listen.  I asked how old the kids were she was talking to. Most were 10-15.  So this is an 8-year old fervently witnessing to her dad and teenagers.  She wants them to find a church, but mostly, she wants them to love God like she does.

I encouraged her as I could, and prayed over her.  As I told folks later, though she may never have gone through the process of 'being saved' in a church setting, she is.  Her heart is firmly His.  This was childlike faith sitting in the hallway on the old choir risers with me.

She may not have prayed aloud with me, but I know God knows the heart.  As one of the songs we're learning this week says, "He hears every prayer before we even pray it."  It's the change in the heart, or the reassurance in Mandy's case, not the words.

He can use even my stumbling disorganized mess.